Jamaica Gleaner /
Fooled by his success
A man’s success could contribute to him assuming that he is entitled to getting anyone and anything he wants or needs. So, he develops feelings of superiority, narcissism and a need for power. He believes there is nothing that can challenge his authority.
Ideal partner for other women
Their successes may make them more attractive to other women, who see them as ideal partners. Some women will see him as the idyllic emotional and financial provider, and intellectual supporter that they desire and these women will make the first step and approach them.
Being successful doesn’t necessarily mean men are emotional mature. Depending on how a male is socialised and the life trajectory of the persons in his immediate environment, he may feel as though settling down is expected of him. However, he is no truly ready for such a commitment.
To feel alive
Newer relationships are often times more fun and exciting. Being in a longer-term relationship in which its ideal qualities are not maintained, can push a man to seek excitement. The danger and forbiddingness of an outside relationship can also add to the adrenaline rush that he needs to appease him.
Legacy of slavery
Aspects of the culture from the enslaved were passed down across generations, including polygamous relationships. Slavery contributed to the disintegration of families and the inability to form secure attachments. Back then, men aimed for more sexual than emotional relationships and this is how it is now. Some men simply can’t avoid it.
Unattractive wife material
Some men believe there is only one type of woman they can marry or introduce to their mother. Women with wife qualities are considered as being able to cook, clean and appear more homely. But, the wife may not be sexually attractive or beautiful to her husband. And when she contrast with their husband’s ideal conception of an attractive woman, he is more likely to seek a lover who can meet all his needs.
A man with insecurities, such as feeling less attractive due to getting older, too young, not financially stable enough, etc, may seek validation from women other than his partner to feel more wanted, desired, and worthy.
Unresolved trauma from child, emotional, physical, and or sexual abuse or neglect may lead to intimacy issues that impact a man’s capacity to commit to one person. He may also be inclined to use sex to try to cope with the pain of his trauma.
He may do it in attempt to end his relationship without having to break up with or confront his partner directly, which may appear more difficult.
Living up to expectations
Sometimes men are already labelled as a cheater by his partner who distrusts him or has trust issues from childhood and previous relationships. He may feel as though it doesn’t matter if he cheats or not, he is already accused of it.