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SOME DETECTIVE STORIES

The trinidad Guardian / The Case of the Missing Peoples. The Chief of the Santa Rosa First Peoples Community last Saturday asserted that there were between 700 to one thousand First People descendants in Arima and a few more thousands throughout Trinidad and Tobago, but complained that “It’s as if we have been written off the psyche of the national community, as if we didn’t exist.”

CLUES: The chief’s name is Ricardo Bharath Hernandez. In the United States, there used to be a “one-drop” rule which mandated that anyone who had even one African ancestor was classified as “Negro.”

DEDUCTION: A racist principle in America gets you a public holiday in T&T.

The Mystery of the Microscopic Mentality. The Seventh-Day Adventists’ radio programme last Sunday on 102FM had a guest who said he was microscopist who diagnoses illnesses by looking at blood cells. He asserted that 90 per cent of all diseases start in the mind and that, when people sin, their DNA changes.

CLUES – There isn’t a profession called microscopy; 16.1 per cent of Seventh Day Adventists suffer from chronic illnesses; 13.8 per cent of non-believers do.

DEDUCTION: Pastor Clive Dottin believes evolution is false.

The Mystery of the Geek Interpreter. A statement released last week by the Judicial and Legal Service Commission about the Marcia Ayers-Caesar debacle reads: “(Chief Justice Ivor Archie) enquired whether she had any outstanding part-heard matters and she assured the Chief Justice that, apart from three short trial matters which for reasons beyond her control could not be completed within a reasonably short time, all she had outstanding were a few ‘paper committals’ which could be restarted by another magistrate without incurring undue delay.” But a newspaper column written by political commentator Indira Rampersad quotes this same statement as: “Mrs Ayers-Caesar acted dishonestly. She was called upon to provide a list of all pending matters she still had before the court, but she responded that apart from three short trial matters…” (Express, 13/04/17).

CLUES: Ms Rampersad has never written any article critical of the UNC; she thinks the economic collapse in Venezuela is due “US-backed business interests”; her PhD is in International Relations.

DEDUCTION: Ms Rampersad is a UWI lecturer.

The Problem of the Contradictory Capitalist. According to UWI lecturer Gabrielle Hosein, who heads the Institute of Gender and Development Studies, “Our resources made some people rich while leaving the place poor: hospitals dirty, public transportation insufficient, prisons overcrowded, families violent, and schools failing a third of the youth.”

CLUES: All the entities listed by Dr Hosein are run by the State, except for the family. Socialist ideology holds that the State should replace the family. Feminist ideology holds the State should replace fathers as provider and/or force men to meet women’s needs.

DEDUCTION: Adam Smith is a dead white male.

The Case of the Haram Hijab. Last week, 32-year-old Aisha Sabur was allegedly rejected when she applied for a job at the National Maintenance and Security Training Company (MTS) because she wears a hijab. Sabur is a single mother, who has a 30-month-old girl who suffers from seizures and a bone disease, as well as an 11-year-old daughter. Sabur did not say whether the children’s father had divorced or died.

CLUES – The Holy Qur’an does not specify that women must wear a hijab; Islamic strictures mandate that women must not have children out of wedlock; the Sahara is a desert.

DEDUCTION – Allah is beneficent, merciful.

The Adventure of the Stopped Clock. Last Monday, the T&T Guardian reported that “A 27-year-old man has been freed of raping a 13-year-old girl, who eventually gave birth to his child.”.

CLUES: The man was 17 and the girl 13 when the incident happened. Physics equations work equally well backward or forward, so time is not a factor in quantum mechanics. The man testified that the woman told him she was 16. She did not report the incident until four months later, when she found out she was pregnant.

DEDUCTION: Dr Who is real.

The Problem of the Polygamous Parent. In a full-page advertisement taken out last Monday by Full Gospel, Pentecostal and Evangelical Churches of T&T, headlined “The Spiritual Role of Parents”, they state: “Marriage is an exclusive heterosexual arrangement between one man and one woman.”

CLUES – The Holy Bible records that King Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines (In 1Kings:11); that King David took “more wives” at Jerusalem (1Chronicles 14:3); and that if a man takes him another wife, her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish (Exodus 21:10).

DEDUCTION: God moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform.

Email: [email protected]

Kevin Baldeosingh is a professional writer, author of three novels, and co-author of a Caribbean history textbook

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